Fostering Rollor coaster for sure

So we get a call today and I am just lost for words but have so much going threw my head.. it is unreal. So we get a call today and it is to take in a 12 yr old boy a 10 yr old boy and a 10 month old little girl.. yeah a sibling group and I hate the idea of being split up trust me. So my case worker is telling me all this and I just have a feeling its not the right placement for us. One. I am not ready to take in older. I hope that does not sound selfish. I am just not ready for that and there is concerns I have for my own children. But I can not help but feel at a loss for these kids and some kind of attachment, my heart just breaks I cant pin point what is bothering me so much. Its one probably a Holiday and these kids need to be some where. I have prayed and prayed for a placement just don't have a good feeling I know one is  the age that scares me and being a male with a 10 year old girl in my house and not knowing what these kids have been threw another concern is I feel I know this 12 and 10 year old have been neglected and left to care for each other and there sister and I feel It may be that I might just butt heads with the 12 year old were he technically has had to be the adult in the situation which again makes me sad for saying No cause maybe I can help him. Its sad that he has had to grow up cause of his parent or parents mistakes it is devastating. My heart is just aching for saying NO but when you have a bad feeling about it what do you do. and its so hard to make a descion so quickly and I knew Jesse's concerns and I know mine so I am glad we are on  the same page. Just makes me sad when I do have to say no cause I know these kids need a safe haven. I know in my heart that one day we Will get the placement we have been waiting for and this just was not the right one.. I hope this is all making sense if any comments or reassurance please comment.. I need something ..

I guess this is kind of how I am feeling today.. it breaks my heart sooo bad to say NO but I know its in the best interest for my family .. its defiantly a foster care roller coaster today 

what has been going on

well we had the 5th grade play and it was great . Football was almost done then they won there last game so we are in playoffs and play Wen again then go from there,, hip hip Hooray.. so a little update on our little foster care.. We got a call at the beginning of this Month to take in a 3 year old little girl. They were petitioning to have her taken out of the home the dad had just got arrested for drugs and I am assuming the mom also.. So we cleaned the girls room was ready expet for the toddler bed up( this little one was sleeping on a queen sized mattress with her 5 yr old sister with no sheets or covers ) so we thought the toddler bed would be more suiting for her. so any way we get a call later that after noon and they have a continued court date so we wait tell the 14th of October to here anything again. So my heart is broke you feel when you get that call you get the name the birth date and very little info but has a mom and wondering what this child is really going threw you pray for this child and cant help but wonder if they are safe. So the 14th comes and they get out of court you get that phone call or in this case I called her case worker and then again they say they are working with the family in the home and again you have the heart ace and pray for this child and hope she is safe. And hope that things work out for the family.. Then this is what you call the welcoming of FOSTER CARE ROLLER COASTER. SO here we are again waiting!! And of course praying and lots of it !!! so here are pics of the 5th grade play

 shes so big I love this girl  good job sis

Eigth is great !!

I can not believe my little man turned 8 on the 12th of this month and it was a great day his bday fell on a Sunday so therefore we waited tell the 18th for him to get baptizes and for being the opening day of the deer hunt it turned out to be a great day.. so we celebrated Sunday with just Jesse, I and the kiddos.. Then Sat had a big thing .. Well he will have a baptism he will for sure remember . First off we got there on time.. After Eric and Jessica even (WOW sorry had to throw that in there. love ya guys) so any way and the member of the bishop brick got there shortly after we did with no key and so we had to hunt for a key.. Wow thank goodness for Uncle Steve and connections and being a Bishop in Salina. so we finally get in to find that the font is not full so they start that.. it takes awhile to fill up. So we are just has calm has can be they get dressed I take pics visit with some family and then we start the program hoping that the font will be full and warm. So we get done with the first part and its time to baptize him Jesse gets in the water and you can tell it is freezing and Camron has no care in the world and after wards Tell's me it was warm so that is what matters. Jesse did a great job so proud of him. Thanks every one who came and made is day so special. I love that we can teach our kids the gospel and they can make these great descions so proud of my family!!! so here are some pics

 of course he wanted more dinos

 daddy and camron

 I love these kids

 I love this man

 lol sorry this picture is funny and cam haaa

 I have no idea

 the little man

 uncle Eric and Cam

 this is my fav

 mommy and camron I love these kids so much and the Scriptures that we get to return cause there is some missing pages thank goodness for Primary teachers me I just think it was fait and the spirit direction ,.. so proud of you Camron can not believe you are 8 and growing into such a handsome young man we love you so much and am so proud of you.. Love mommy and daddy