Well..its been awhile

Well just when you think these Will calm and you think you are all done fostering after boys left. I was a mess I shut down . I prayed for there safety and I prayed for them to come back and long behold in November my prayes were answered. NOW we have adopted these two sweet boys and I could not be happier.. Broken is no longer Broken and he loves his mommy and I am so thankful to be a family of seven.. LIFE IS GREAT,, sorry it has took me a while to update on here .. I have been super crazy 1. adoption great day.. 2. Jesse had shoulder surgery a week after and Baby had surgery the next week and then kids out for summer and we have 5 kids so it s crazy love every min of it we got sealed in the Temple in June and oh did I mention I am in the young women presidency and we had girls camp and its been crazy to sum it all UP we are doing great ....

Mixed emotions

Well to say the LEAST things were ruff the 8th at our house.. We happily In Jan and Feb let some little boys come into our loving home and we had 20 extra fingers, 2 extra hands and 20 feet , 20 toes and 2 REALLY BIG HEARTS and we let that all go, It was the hardest thing I ever have DONE. I opened my heart and my home and my cute kids to enjoy these boys, WE miss them LIKE crazy already. Broken was amazing and had such a sweet spirit.. He would laugh and giggle when we talked to him, He really came to our home BROKEN and left a VERY Happy boy. HE was a GOOD baby even when we first got him has much pain has he was in .. He was good. I miss his smile . I miss him saying mama and especially has he has a bubble in his mouth . I miss snuggles and i miss when he claps. My heart hurts and I pray everyday they are SAFE. That is all I want. I loved this boy like my own . He made me Happy . Now Im sad hes gone . I hope to maintain contact and to be able to see him but some text mom sends me makes me frustrated and wonder why, Im struggling finding if we should do this again I pray about it often and have answers but am still weary. Im trying to heal a broken heart and its not EASY . I also pray one day they will be back..

Sass made HUGE progress why here and I loved him like my own. He was a good kid and really just wanted to be loved and some attention . He will do great things . we miss him to terribly.. He was so exited to go home but he knew is mom and Broken only new me has his mom. We opened our lives to this and took on a lot .. But I wouldn't change it for the world.. We love these little people and just want the best for them..

So I have a lot of people ask will you do this again? Right now my heart needs to heal. I need to go into being a mom from 5 to 3 . I need to be a wife and mom right now for my little family. I do have answers to my prayers and I know what I am suppose to do I just need to heal mY broken heart .. Has for now we are on HOLD to the whole thing time will tell. I probably will re license

and HOPE Broken and Sass come back

My baby boys are leaving

Has a foster parent the last thing you want to hear Is kids are going home .. This week has been rough I ve had Broken since he was a month old I'm his mommy . I held him in pain when he came to my house . Ive rocked him and cuddled him to sleep between sleepless nights I am his Mom he is my joy he is Happy . I love him like my own . One of  the hardest things I will do next month is send him back home to his mom. I have questions I have thoughts I have separation anxiety not only for me but him.. Is he going to be safe? Will he re amber us? will he still love us? His mom going to take care of him ? I will miss him so much and Sass has broke some really tuff stuff .. I went into fostering wanting to help it had impacted my life so much I love these kids so much and Am thankful that I have a wonderful husband who loves me and supports me . I love you so much baby thanks for enjoying this ride with me thanks for my blessing the other night. I love the priesthoods and am so thankful for it in my life.. To these boys I will miss you so much and I love you so much , you will always have a place in my HEART and In my home . I will miss you terribly .. I want the best for you and I hope one day if it be the lords will you come back to us. TO my own kids I know this will be a struggle and it will be a hard thing. I m so proud of you guys for loving these boys so much . you are all true children of Heavenly father and he loves you so much and knows how much you care and love these little people we welcome into our home . Thank you friends and family for your love and support .. WE love you all ..

Ooh Child Original- The Five Stairsteps

May lots of stuff going

Well SCHOOL is OUT Wow crazyy.. So lets post pics first day and last day ..

 Emika First day of Kindergarten love her

 Her last day of kindergarten so sad she is on to 1st grade.. love this girl

 Cams first day of third grade he did so awesome this year and loved his teacher so much

 Last day of 3rd grade on to 4th day and this boy did NOT miss one day of school so proud of him

 oh I love this GIRL!!! !st day of 6th grade oh my baby is growing up.. Crazy life

and last day of 6th grade on to 7th here we come world 

Jesse had surgery the 26th and it was good .. so hes off work for a little while.. we are loving him home.. Broken and Sassy seem to be doing well just wanted to post 1st and last day pics then on to Baseball and softball next post 

My Love

Well today is our wedding anniversary I can not believe 17 years has gone by so fast.. I  love this man more then anything in the world. Has it been easy absolutely Not,, Worth it Yes.. Thank you Jesse for being by my side.. threw challenges threw happiness , hardships, trials , kids and this crazy thing we call life.. I love you so much  I loved you always.. me and you babe.. ALWAYS ..

Love this man so much 

My happy place *)

Litlle update and some pics

So where do we begin .. Well lets do oldest to youngest kids then update on Jesse and I .. SO Bio kids first .. Carley oh the love she is turning into a pre teen and WE do LOVE her .. Shes amazing Help with Broken we love her. I can not believe she will be in 7th grade .. Dance is over she did great and is amazing every year .. I love watching her even though I tell her she was off a couple beats.. She does amazing and I love that she makes friends a lot of these girls she has danced with since she was 3.. she is playing softball this year and has her 1st game tonight .. and im going to miss it cause Cam has his 1st game also tonight,, but we are going to make this season work,, with the help of Friends and family... Thanks Car for all your hard work we love ya sis..

Camron Well hes cam and will be in 4th grade it is just crazy. He is doing super good in school his reading is excellent and math we struggle but we get by. I have loved his Teacher this year she has been amazing . Cam wrestled this year and I think he will again hes awesome at practice but gets stage fright.. We love this little energetic boy.. He is playing Baseball a try he has begged me for 2 years now and I hope he will succeed .. we will see how he does tonight at game .. Love this little man ..

Emika Stella is great fun and loving and did I mention BOSSY have no idea where that one all game into play .. OOPS .. She danced and I just love her so much fun to watch she will definitely be our Drill team girl I hope drill is ready for her cause she is a SASS .. love her she is also playing ball and had her 1st game last night in Ephraim and hit the ball and then struck out.. good job Stella .. this girl has done so well and I would have to say after all the struggle of worrying about holding her back last year was totally worth it and she will be going into first grade with confidence.. Love this girl ...

Next lets talk about Sass well hes adjusting still has some struggles and is getting use to this house and hes very sensitive and always thinks every one is out to get him which I am sure his abuse. Visit days we act out a little more and a little more moody but I am a mean mom and dont but up with the crap. hes doing great in school and we are thinking we will prob have him tell about September maybe October. Therapy hes starting to open up a little and trust which is a big deal . when he came he thought everyone was bad and bad people and didn't know feelings happy sad mad angry he didn't know how he was feeling and why we have been working hard on this... and he is a cute kid just has some problems because of messed up parents .. makes me so MAD and Sad

Broken he is no longer Broken and doing well he is 4 mo and doing awesome he smiles laughs and is mostly happy except for when hungry or tired.. He fights sleep like no ones business .. He has not rolled over yet but scoots on his back .. he loves food bannans our his favorite . he is teething and I do not miss that at all.. He loves Carley and Jesse .. Jesse speaks to him in some native form and he jsut smiles like he totally gets it .. He loves touch now which is an awesome thing cause he hated it at first and now loves it.. He is a good cuddle and loves to be loved on and has the chunkiest cheeks a baby could ask for.. we love him so much and this will be a tough one to let go home right now I just love this baby boy he is so FUN .. Love ya chunk a monk ..

Jesse is doing ok work is a pain this new schedule is kicking our trash and we hate it.. He is having surgery May 26th and I will be glad hes off for a few weeks.. I love this man so much and am so glad I have him in my life this month is our anniversary 17 years he has put up with me.. and  I love him more and more everyday .. Thanks babe for listing to me and going threw this crazy journey we call life.. I love you sexy man ..

Has for me I am adjudicating I am exited for ball season I love watching my kids play and discover new things .. I am ready for summer so we can just hang out and be together .. I love being outside and someday I am more crazy then others and am just taking it day by day . Our jewelry  business has started and we are wanting to do some boutiques and make a little extra money .. mothers day orders went great and I am so thankful for every one that ordered THANKS .. ok lets do some pics

And i love these kids